My eye surgery was successful, with minimal discomfort and swelling.  I’m home recovering–all is well with me and I’m sure your prayers have a lot to do with that.  Indeed, there is power in prayer.  I believe we’re here to help each other heal–through our prayers for each other and through the kindness we show toward one another.  This Saturday morning, Christ Church is having a women’s prayer meeting (8 am–9:30 am).  I’m one of the speakers and I’m really looking forward to seeing God move in the lives of women.

As I was thinking and praying about what to share at the prayer meeting tomorrow, I had a vision of thousands of lame women whose feet had been bound from the time they were children.  Foot binding was an ancient Chinese custom that was practiced from the 9th century until it was finally outlawed in 19ll.  However, it was not until the Chinese Cultural Revolution of the 1940’s and ‘50’s that the custom was completely eradicated.  Tragically, many of the women, who were themselves maimed, embraced the tradition of binding the feet of their daughters, crippling them for life.  Hence, the custom continued from generation to generation for well over a thousand years.  Can you imagine being a playful, carefree little child and having your feet bound?  From the age of three or four years old, little girls would have their feet so tightly wrapped with strips of cloth that by the time they reached their teenage years, their feet were 3″ long and completely deformed.  As young women, they were weak and powerless, totally lame and dependent on others, yet still held responsible for taking care of the household chores, in spite of their disability.  After their homes were cleaned and swept, they would spend time sewing beautifully ornamented shoes to cover their horrible deformities.

Although the custom of foot binding was banned in China more than 50 years ago, I believe the Lord gave me that vision to show me that there are thousands of women who are lame.  Perhaps not physically lame, but rather, we are bound and crippled emotionally and spiritually because of the wounds we’ve suffered from the time we were young girls.  All of us are healing from what I call, the pain of shame.  That is, somewhere along life’s way, someone hurt us, someone wounded us, someone shamed us, someone offended us and convinced us that we weren’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or even worthy of being loved.  Some have had our innocence stolen.  Some of us have been beaten, battered and brutalized physically and emotionally beyond recognition, until we no longer see ourselves as beautiful queens, much less, the daughters of the Most High God.  Many of us have tried to cover up our physical and emotional wounds (just like the women of ancient China who crafted tiny shoes to cover their deformed feet).  Although our physical wounds may no longer be visible to the naked eye, the emotional scars are still there, perhaps well hidden, yet festering just under the surface, until we explode with self-destructive behavior.  Our deep emotional scars keep us lame and bound.

Many of us are crippled by the pain of the past.  Day after day, we struggle to manage the weighty baggage of past hurts, wounds and injustices we’ve suffered, most often at the hands of a family member or even those we thought to be dear friends.  Sometimes our pain is buried so deep in our hearts, that it takes years to figure out what’s wrong, why we act the way we do or why we always seem to hurt the ones we say we love.  Unknowingly, we spend years building nearly impenetrable walls around our wounded hearts.  Walls that harbor our pain of shame, our deep self-loathing–walls that keep us emotionally off limits and prevent us from trusting and loving ourselves and others.  If the truth be told, often our emotional condition is the root cause of our physical ailments (that’s a whole ‘nother sermon)!  I don’t know about you, but I refuse to be an emotional cripple for the rest of my life.  I want to love and trust again.  So the question is, how do we heal ourselves so that we’re free to love again and attain the promises of God to live full and happy lives?

Over the years, God has healed me of many hurtful experiences of the past that crippled me and kept me from being all I could be in Christ.  Determined to be healed, the first bold step I have to take each day in order to live fully and have a closer walk with God, is to do exactly what Jesus did when he hung on that cross: Forgive.  Yes, we have to forgive others and ourselves.  For me, the latter charge of forgiving myself is often more difficult than the former.  Self-inflicted wounds cut deeper each time we down ourselves, or discredit or invalidate ourselves.  We crucify and cripple ourselves each time we look in the mirror and hate what we see.  Each day, we feed our self-esteem a deadly dose of hopelessness through our own self-deprecating words:  “I’m too fat, too skinny, too black, too pale, too tall, too short, my nose is too big, my hair is too nappy or stringy, my hips are too wide, my lips are too full or too thin, and I don’t measure up in the smarts department either.”  When will we realize that this is the enemy of our soul talking to us and through us, assailing our minds, accusing us daily and trying to get us to believe all things contrary to who we really are in Christ?  God says, we’re the apple of His eye, we’re beautiful in His sight, we’re His masterpiece, and we’re marvelously made.  We’re awesome women!

Today, my challenge to every woman is to first, forgive yourself for self-inflicted wounds.  Then forgive those who have wounded you.  This is a tall order but I know through firsthand experience that it is possible to be healed and live full, happy lives.  We can help each other heal through our prayers, kind words of comfort and encouragement.  And, in the likeness of Christ, as we’re healed, we too become wounded healers for others who are suffering from the pain of shame.

I’m grateful to God for sending me friends like you who have prayed for me.  Most of all, I thank the Lord for sending Jesus who was wounded for me and by whose stripes, I am healed.  I believe that God is speaking to each one of us, asking the same question He put to the lame in the Gospel of John, chapter 5, “Wilt thou be made whole?”  My answer, without hesitation, is Yes! I want to be healed.  I choose to be healed!  Today, as Christ poses the question directly to you “Do you want to be healed, what shall your answer be?”

Well Folks, that’s my little sermon for the day.  Thanks for letting me preach a while.  Thanks for your prayers.  Thanks for being my friend.

I LOVE YOU ALL,
Phyllis

On the day Christ Church hosted the Secure in God Women’s Prayer Gathering, torrential rain cracked the skies.  In spite of the incessant downpour, women came out in droves to pray and touch the heart of God.  I’m convinced that we’re here on earth to help each other heal through prayer and by demonstrating mercy and kindness toward one another.  It was an honor to be invited to serve as a Prayer Leader at the gathering.

Earlier that week, as I was fasting and praying about what God wanted me to share, I had a vision of thousands of lame women whose feet had been bound from the time they were children.  Foot binding was an ancient Chinese custom that was practiced from the 9th century until it was finally outlawed in 1911.  However, it was not until the Chinese Cultural Revolution of the 1940’s and ‘50’s that the custom was completely eradicated.  Tragically, many of the women, who were themselves maimed, embraced the tradition of binding the feet of their daughters, crippling them for life.  Hence, the custom continued from generation to generation for well over a thousand years.  Can you imagine being a playful, carefree little child and having your feet bound?  From the age of three or four years old, little girls would have their feet so tightly wrapped with strips of cloth that by the time they reached their teenage years, their feet were 3″ long and completely deformed.  As young women, they were weak and powerless, totally lame and dependent on others, yet still held responsible for taking care of the household chores, in spite of their disability.  After their homes were cleaned and swept, they would spend time sewing beautifully ornamented shoes to cover their horrible deformities.

Although the custom of foot binding was banned in China more than 50 years ago, I believe the Lord gave me that vision to show me that there are thousands of women who are lame.  Perhaps not physically lame, but rather, we are bound and crippled emotionally and spiritually because of the wounds we’ve suffered from the time we were young girls.  All of us are healing from what I call, the pain of shame.  That is, somewhere along life’s way, someone hurt us, someone wounded us, someone shamed us, someone offended us and convinced us that we weren’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or even worthy of being loved.  Some have had our innocence stolen.  Some of us have been beaten, battered and brutalized physically and emotionally beyond recognition, until we no longer see ourselves as beautiful queens, much less, the daughters of the Most High God.  Many of us have tried to cover up our physical and emotional wounds (just like the women of ancient China who crafted tiny shoes to cover their deformed feet).  Although our physical wounds may no longer be visible to the naked eye, the emotional scars are still there, perhaps well hidden, yet festering just under the surface, until we explode with self-destructive behavior.  Our deep emotional scars keep us lame and bound.

Many of us are crippled by the pain of the past.  Day after day, we struggle to manage the weighty baggage of past hurts, wounds and injustices we’ve suffered, most often at the hands of a family member or even those we thought to be dear friends.  Sometimes our pain is buried so deep in our hearts, that it takes years to figure out what’s wrong, why we act the way we do or why we always seem to hurt the ones we say we love.  Unknowingly, we spend years building nearly impenetrable walls around our wounded hearts.  Walls that harbor our pain of shame, our deep self-loathing–walls that keep us emotionally off limits and prevent us from trusting and loving ourselves and others.  If the truth be told, often our emotional condition is the root cause of our physical ailments (that’s a whole ‘nother sermon)!  I don’t know about you, but I refuse to be an emotional cripple for the rest of my life.  I want to love and trust again.  So the question is, how do we heal ourselves so that we’re free to love again and attain the promises of God to live full and happy lives?

Over the years, God has healed me of many hurtful experiences of the past that crippled me and kept me from being all I could be in Christ.  Determined to be healed, the first bold step I have to take each day in order to live fully and have a closer walk with God, is to do exactly what Jesus did when he hung on that cross: Forgive.  Yes, we have to forgive others and ourselves.  For me, the latter charge of forgiving myself is often more difficult than the former.  Self-inflicted wounds cut deeper each time we down ourselves, or discredit or invalidate ourselves.  We crucify and cripple ourselves each time we look in the mirror and hate what we see.  Each day, we feed our self-esteem a deadly dose of hopelessness through our own self-deprecating words:  “I’m too fat, too skinny, too black, too pale, too tall, too short, my nose is too big, my hair is too nappy or stringy, my hips are too wide, my lips are too full or too thin, and I don’t measure up in the smarts department either.”  When will we realize that this is the enemy of our soul talking to us and through us, assailing our minds, accusing us daily and trying to get us to believe all things contrary to who we really are in Christ?  God says, we’re the apple of His eye, we’re beautiful in His sight, we’re His masterpiece, and we’re marvelously made.  We’re awesome women!

Today, my challenge to every woman is to first, forgive yourself for self-inflicted wounds.  Then forgive those who have wounded you. This is a tall order but I know through firsthand experience that it is possible to be healed and live full, happy lives.  We can help each other heal through our prayers, kind words of comfort and encouragement.  And as we receive our healing, it is in the likeness of Christ that we too become wounded healers for others who are suffering from the pain of shame.

I’m grateful to God for sending me friends like you who have prayed for me.  Most of all, I thank the Lord for sending Jesus who was wounded for me and by whose stripes, I am healed.  I believe that God is speaking to each one of us, asking the same question He put to the lame in the Gospel of John, chapter 5, “Wilt thou be made whole?”  My answer, without hesitation, is Yes! I want to be healed.  I choose to be healed!  Today, as Christ poses the question directly to you “Do you want to be healed, what shall your answer be?”

Scripture References:  John 5, Psalm 41, Psalm 139:23-24, Isaiah 53:4-5, I Peter 2:24

For more information on how you can book Phyllis to speak at your next meeting, please contact us by phone at (703) 927-6557 or via email at  phylliscunningham.com.

One thing we can count on in life is that others will hurt us and we ourselves will even cause others to suffer pain.  Because we are human, we are going to make mistakes, treat others unkindly by word and deed, and we will inevitably suffer mistreatment by others.  The question is whether we’ll respond with anger and bitterness or grace and forgiveness.  Poet Alexander Pope aptly spoke “to err is human but to forgive is divine.”  In deed, true forgiveness requires divine grace.

True forgiveness goes against every human sense of what is fair and right.  Naturally, when someone hurts us, we want revenge.  Many of us spend wasted years punishing our offenders over and over again in our minds for the pain they have caused us.  Sometimes we even hold things against ourselves—past mistakes, bad choices we’ve made and pain we’ve caused others.  By holding on to emotional pain and shame, whether self inflicted or caused by others, our hearts become hardened to the tender forgiveness that Christ extends to us.  And, because Christ has forgiven us, how much more are we to forgive others?

It is extremely difficult to forgive others because we want revenge for the pain we’ve suffered. We become both judge and jury to all who hurt our feelings and our offenders are always guilty as charged.  We think that holding others hostage for the hurt they’ve caused us is fair and just—after all, what we really want is retribution for every single infraction.  We hold on to past hurts as a way of punishing others, when in fact, we’re only feeding our own pain.  Until we let go of the bitterness and anger—until we forgive— we can never stop the emotional pain we feel.  Our own healing cannot begin until we first forgive.  Forgiving is not forgetting—it is not a matter of instant amnesia where we forget the pain another has caused.  We do, however, stop seeking our own revenge and release the person to God’s judgement and healing.  Once we choose to forgive, we open our hearts to God’s grace and His divine healing.

To forgive is a matter of choice—a matter of our will—and a matter of divine grace.  We need the divine grace of God in order to release others from our want of revenge.  Let us not allow bitterness, anger and resentment to fester and build a wall between ourselves and others. God can and will heal our broken emotions and our broken relationships.  Let us open our hearts to receive God’s divine grace to forgive, to heal and to embrace a deeper relationship with Christ.

Scripture references:  Ephesians 4:31-32, Romans 12:17-19, IICorinthians 2:10-11.

Scripture: Faithful is He who promised, who also will do it.

Have you ever experienced such pain and suffering that you thought you would never make it through?  Did you think for a moment that God had forgotten about you?  The fact is, God allows us to experience His faithfulness through our life experiences. As believers in Christ, everything that we go through, whether it be a positive experience or a negative one, is for the purpose of  developing our faith in the faithfulness of Christ Jesus. We are more apt to trust God when things are going well – when we are having mountaintop experiences.  But when we go through wilderness experiences, our emotions can get us so out of balance that we may even doubt whether God is on the job. It is during these times that we must go to our secret closet, quiet our emotions and commune with God. We can rest assured that God will never leave or forsake us. The Lord is orchestrating the events of our lives and He has sent His precious Holy Spirit to abide with us, to comfort us when we go through trying times, to direct our steps and to reveal Jesus in us and through us.  Let us trust in God’s faithfulness and allow Him to perfect us  through our wilderness and mountaintop experiences.

Prayer:  Lord Jesus, take me to a deeper level of understanding and experience with you.  Help me see Your faithfulness in all the life experiences that You lead me through.  Amen.

Scripture:  A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pitchers of silver. — Proverbs 25:11

Imagine the serene beauty of apples of gold in pitchers of silver.  The thought of such beauty lifts our spirits and refreshes our very souls.  Likewise our words, our tone of voice should soothe and uplift the spirits of those we are privileged to talk to.  Yet, have you ever noticed that when we get in a rush or under pressure, an unmerciful lashing of words can send a deathblow to anyone within earshot?  Most often, the perpetrator is not even aware of the damage done.  How is it that our words become weapons, used to inflict gaping, irreparable wounds on our fellow saints?  Indeed, the victims of our cruel retorts are often those who are closest to us— a beloved husband, a devoted wife, an inquisitive child.  Can sweet and bitter water flow from the same fountain?  Can we truly say we are disciples of Christ, yet belittle and destroy one another with our words?

James 3:6 says, “the tongue can no man tame.”  So, how do we get control of our unruly tongues?  How do we change our delivery so that our words bless rather than curse?  Of course it will take much discipline and hard work to recondition the way we speak to others.  Only with our sincere conviction, commitment, and God’s help can we tame our tongues and our tone of voice to speak life to others.  We must pray for the Father’s help daily—ask Him to put a guard over our tongue and to give us ears to hear ourselves when speaking to others.  We must ask the Lord to give us ears to hear not only what His Spirit is saying—not only His words, but also the tone in which the Spirit speaks.  Have you noticed that when God speaks to us it is never in a harsh, vindictive, cruel or impatient tone?  Hence, let us imitate our Father when speaking to others.  Let us give the Father permission to show His love through the words we speak.  And with practice, our words to others, like God’s words to us, will become a beautiful scene to behold—like apples of gold in pitchers of silver, refreshing all who need to hear a word from the Lord

Prayer:  Father, I pray that the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight.  Teach me Lord to speak to others so that my words bless and uplift their thirsty souls.  May my words be always seasoned with grace that I might know how to give an answer to those who need a Word from You.  Amen.

I made it back from my vacation in the Galapagos Islands in one piece (650 miles from civilization, in the Pacific, near the equator). I was swimming with Sharks!  It was quite an adventure–one that enlarged me in ways I have yet to find words to describe. I’ll understand it better by and by. I want to give you all a glimpse of what it was like. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to share my experience with you.

The briny deep is both beautiful and perilous. It is said that there is safety in numbers, so we’d dive in small groups of 5 or 6 divers and each diver had a buddy, technically.  But, in reality, things are so unpredictable underwater that you really had to have your wits about you, know your stuff and know God. I was scared on some of the dives but–I DID IT ANYWAY! (“If I perish, I perish,” I think Queen Esther would have been proud of me). I can say with confidence that I truly earned my Advanced Diver Certification. It was a test of courage and faith. It was living life fully, in living color. All of our dive explorations were from 50 to 85 feet deep. At times, the underwater currents were so strong that we’d have to cling to the rocks to keep from being swept away. And the currents were constantly changing so we never knew what to expect. We would be swimming along, riding a current and in a matter of seconds, another one would sweep in and take us in a completely different direction. It’s difficult to articulate an experience that is, on the one hand, life threatening, and on the other, so full of breathtaking beauty. Just witnessing God’s artistry firsthand quickly allayed my fears. The Pacific Ocean is teaming with life. Each day we’d immerse our weightless bodies in this infinite blue liquid space and find ourselves engulfed by thousands of exotic fish, flowering plants and coral anemones of all colors, shapes and sizes.

On one of my dives, I was swimming at 82 ft (with my dive buddy) when we got caught in a rushing down current and in less than five seconds, we found ourselves suspended at 110ft. It’s really strange to watch your air bubbles going down instead of up to the surface. We quickly recovered and buoyed up to 50 ft. The thrill was getting into a fast current and riding it for a few miles. Then suddenly the current changed and again we had to hold on to the rocks just to slow ourselves down to let a school of Hammerhead Sharks, Barracudas and Cow Rays pass by. My most exciting dive was when I saw a Whale Shark that was nearly 50 ft long. Its enormous, gaping mouth looked at least 2 feet across! I could even see the little suckerfish darting between its jagged teeth and hanging from its huge fins. I remained very calm and still as I watched the mammoth beast glide by. Its massive body was so graceful and its skin was a beautiful shimmering violet gray with white leopard spots. I was close enough to touch it–but I didn’t (I may be a little crazy but I ain’t stupid!). Later that same day, we went snorkeling and a school of Dolphins joined us–there looked to be well over 50 of them playing, whistling, leaping and somersaulting around us. What a breathtaking experience.

Deep sea diving is an outer-worldly, outer-body experience–a profound spiritual awakening.  My diving adventures in the Galapagos Islands taught me to live in the moment and confirmed over and over again that our God is The Great I Am—our uncreated Creator. The All in All. God is truly awesome and we are utterly helpless without God.  And the fact is, God is in control of everything!

There is no place we can go where God is not: “If I settle on the far side of the sea, even there His hand will guide me” (Psalm 139). I summoned all the courage I could find to experience God’s wonderful water kingdom. The entire time I was there, I was thinking about what a privilege it was to see God’s wonders on display. The experience demanded that I face my fears head on and “let go and let God.” That’s the place I want to occupy in my daily life. I want to get to that peace of mind in everything I do–no worries, no more second guessing what God has called me to do–and even if the task seems unorthodox to others, I must take charge of my fears, trust God and do it anyway!  “Let go and let God!” I’ve learned that I am a fierce woman of God who is determined to experience all that God has for me. And, I’ve discovered that this journey we call LIFE is both beautiful and perilous. God’s creation is magnificent and glorious and I want to experience all of it. All I have to do is take courage, have faith, trust God, breathe and DIVE IN! Will you take courage and join me?

Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. — Joshua 1:9

In the well-known children’s book, The Velveteen Rabbit, there is a conversation between the Skin Horse and the Rabbit that goes like this:

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day . . ..  “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse.  “It’s a thing that happens to you.  When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful.  “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse.  “You become.  It takes a long time.  That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.  Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.  But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are REAL you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

Like the Rabbit, all of us want to feel REAL—all of us want and need to experience deep, unconditional love to feel alive—to feel real.  Sadly, few of us really get to share the fullness of love—in part because we are afraid to give freely that which we want and need most—REAL LOVE.  Often, because of past hurts and disappointments, we put conditions on how much love we give and limit how much love we’re open and willing to receive.  We build walls around our hearts in order to protect our fragile egos—in order to escape the frightening prospect of being vulnerable.  Yet, vulnerability is exactly what Real Love demands.  Real Love is not superficial—it’s not conditional—it’s not a game of tit-for-tat.  It doesn’t say “if you do this for me, I’ll love you more.”  Real Love is not possessive or insecure—it’s not self-seeking or selfish.  Our flaws and imperfections do not limit Real Love—Real Love happens in spite of them!  Why are we so afraid of loving each other in a real, unconditional way?  Is it fear of being hurt again?  Or, is it the weight of all the baggage we carry from past hurts—from having loved and lost?  Have we become so jaded that we no longer recognize what Real Love is?  Let us remind ourselves that Real Love is patient and kind.  It does not envy.  It does not boast—it is not proud.  It is not rude.  It is not self-seeking or easily angered—it keeps no record of wrong.  Real Love does not delight in hurting another but rejoices with the truth—we are all worthy of Real Love!

Some people go their whole lives never completely giving or receiving all the love that’s available to them.  Is that you?  Have you allowed the hurts of love—the pain of feeling jipped or jilted, harden you?  What will it take to penetrate the massive walls of protection you’ve built around your wounded heart?   The lesson The Velveteen Rabbit teaches us is that it’s time to get “REAL” with each other—it’s time we love one another in a real way—unconditionally.  Truly, our kindred mission on earth is to help each other heal from past hurts—to help each other feel Real—to help each other experience Real Love.  We can all take comfort in the fact that God loves us unconditionally.  But let us go deeper—let us BECOME REAL LOVE.  Let us shed our fears and demonstrate the true love of God, starting with ourselves, our families and those who mean most to us.  Beloved, let us love one another.

Scripture references: I Corinthians 13:1-12, Galatians 5:22-23, I John 4:16